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A very good start to a story, not too long, not too short, but perfect. The scene was described very very well and the story is original and unique. I honestly cannot wait for the next chapter!!

'as fast as light'
'enormous amount of light'
'it turned black and rotted away'
'Kai continously stared'
'''I am sorry .. but I am afraid to say she is no longer with us." The boy sounded as if it were his own sister he watched get killed'

Vision: 5 out of 5
Originality: 5 out of 5
Technique: 5 out of 5
Impact: 5 out of 5
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.


Nonirikku Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you ;w;
Ah I am soo glad to hear that! I have always been rather shy about my writing so ;w;

I do love adding similes and metaphors :'D
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